I’ll start off saying, what I post here are just my thoughts on the college experience and about postgraduate times. I’m going to be vulnerable here and share my own experience. I just want to shed light on the struggles and joys of graduating from college. Before I go into the postgraduate times, I’ll tell you some about my college experience.
I want to acknowledge that there are so many expectations on 18-year old’s to know what they want to do with their life when they exit high school and onto their next venture. A simple question from a well-meaning adult (parent or friend) asking any of these, “So, what’s next? What college are you going to? What major? Oh, not doing college, where are you wanting to work?” can send panic coursing through your veins. There are some people who are able to answer these questions with no problem and kudos to you!
For me, when I graduated high school in 2014, I had no idea what school I wanted to go to or what I wanted to major in. So, to save money I went to community college and continued to save money by living at home. When I did all I could through the community college I was accepted into an out of state University. I was ecstatic at the chance to set off on my own and start over in a new place. I was excited to see what God had in store for me in Arkansas, but I was sad to be leaving friends and a bit insecure about all the people I would meet on my own. I chose the dorm-life the 2 1/2 years that I attended John Brown. I wanted the opportunity to continue to connect with the friends I had made there instead of living off campus or in apartments on campus. I wanted to draw in close and stay attuned to what was happening on campus because I knew that my time would be coming to an end before I knew it.
Since I attended a Christian University, there was a covenant I had to sign about how I would conduct myself as a student there. A lot of people didn’t understand why I would choose such a strict school. Some rules included: there were dorm hours where the opposite sex was not allowed on the floor/hall/person’s room. Honestly, comes in handy to know that you won’t have to deal with a roommate having someone “spend the night” 😉 or being locked out of the room because they want to have “alone time.” Also, for the times where guys were not allowed on the hall, gave me the freedom not to feel self-conscious to walk around in my pj’s or just a robe.
I lived in the Walker dorm which was in the middle of everything (which was very ideal when I could bring my smoothies and wear slippers to go upstairs for some of my classes). The dorm was co-ed, where the first two floors were just for females and then the top floor was for males.
Another rule was that while you attended the school you could not drink alcohol (even if you were of age). This rule usually is where a lot of questions ensue. The school has their reasoning for this and there have been talkback sessions for students to ask questions about why there is this rule. For me, I cared about receiving a quality education and sacrificing a couple of “freedoms” was something I could live with. Overall, I didn’t regret the decision I made. Honestly, I saw the alcohol part as a bummer, but in the end, would be saving me a lot of money!
But does everyone think the same as me? No! Now, I’m not going to ignore how I did see people breaking the covenant and that’s their own decision. It’s like you are capable to make your own decisions, but you also have to deal with the consequences if found out. Sometimes people think they will be okay with the idea of the covenant, but following through is sometimes the harder choice. I found myself at some crossroads where I made some choices that I did later regret. There were others who totally disregarded the covenant and did what they wanted. I didn’t have the partying experience when I went to school there, but I know there was a group that would party. I’m not trying to shame anyone, just telling how it is.
Besides, I just chose to have fun a different way! A great Friday night for me would look like getting a group of friends together to play card games/board games. Next, we would play the game Murder late at night in one of the school buildings and then end up at Waffle House or McDonald’s.
Moving on, those few years turned out to be some of the best in my life! I made some quality friends along the way. I had some substantial spiritual growth in my life through the positive people that became my friends and faced some challenges of what my beliefs were based on to become my own. I thought it was cool that all the classes made some reflection back to God.
How was that for a rough summary? I definitely will go into more detail about how college life was for me, but for now, I want to move onto the postgraduate experience.
I’m not sure with where to start, but how about I speed you up through the details of how I got to where I am now?
After I graduated from the John Brown, I had packed up my dorm room and headed back for Texas, specifically my parent’s house. Christmas break had descended upon students, even though I was no longer a student it still felt like I was on break. It’s like I thought, “Alright, after this I really need to get a job.” During the break I had a house sitting/pet-sitting gig that helped put something into my bank account. It felt like a vacation away from home. But all the while on this “break” I searched and searched for jobs. I looked up on Indeed and on other search engines “human services jobs” and a lot of what I found was that employers preferred someone with 2-3 years of experience in their field. As someone coming out of schooling, I did not have much of any substantial or long-standing work experience. I felt out of depth and didn’t even feel qualified to apply to many places. I knew I had to be okay with an entry level position, even if it didn’t directly relate to what I thought I wanted.
About a month passes and then I score a job through a school district to work as an After School Enrichment Aide for an elementary school. I’m not sure if I had an upper hand with getting this position, but I ended up knowing the supervisor that would hire me. We used to go to the same church and her family knew mine, though I hadn’t seen her in years.
So, let me highlight here, NETWORKING makes all the difference! I had heard all throughout college of how important it was to network and go to career fair’s even if it’s to socialize and get your face recognized so that it could work to your advantage later on. It’s not until I am out of college that I realize how real the saying, “It’s not what you know, but who you know.” What you know is very important, but if all the candidates have around the same amount of knowledge/experience, but one has a recommendation from someone already at the company, then it helps the employer to make a good decision.
I ended up working at this school till the end of the school year to discover I may not want a career where I work with kids in this type of environment. It was a great experience and I learned how to handle myself around kids that could be difficult, which I know will equip me in the future.
So then, upon this discovery, I wanted to see how I liked to work with a different population of people. In an internship for school, I had worked with women and men that were victims of domestic violence. I’ve worked with almost all ages of kids: 6 month-old’s to elementary age kids, to middle school kids (church youth leader), to high school kids (leader of Bible study). In my thought process, I looked to the elderly population next. In college I co-created an outreach ministry to connect students to senior citizens. Perhaps, I have a knack for working with the elderly. I had a lot of fun talking with the residents and even writing to one of them through the Pen Pals ministry.
I had looked into Activity Coordinator positions or at least working in the front desk, but nothing panned out… for a while. The search for jobs can be discouraging and I definitely have felt the pressure to find something, but really hoping and praying that the “right fit” would come along. I have had interviews where I thought I would be the one! But then ended up not getting the position. I’m going to delve into that feeling of not getting picked.
There’s the nervousness when you get THE call, the one that determines whether all your efforts were a success or not… They say, “We really liked you, but we went with the candidate that had more experience. We wish you luck in your endeavors.” Yep, this is what I have faced. For a while, I was dealing with the feeling of inadequacy, wondering why I wasn’t good enough. Being at home a lot doesn’t help, in fact, if I don’t go anywhere all day, I tend to feel worse about myself. I would be applying for jobs, but somehow I would get tired from the application process and then feel guilty for doing anything that was not looking for a job.
It was more recently, that I was reflecting on how I see myself and a word popped up in my mind, unworthy. When I was talking with a friend about all this, I realized how I have been seeing myself in this negative light. Through prayer, I heard God tell me so clearly, “I chose you, Rose.” It’s like God told me to disregard all those lies that I had been thinking about myself, and He told me the truth. I knew in my heart of God’s unconditional love and His strong character that was always looking out for me but needed the reminder. I needed the reminder that I wasn’t alone, that while other’s will disappoint me God stays constant. God created me in His image. He made me with sweetness and spice and everything nice (or at least the ability to be kind).
Within this week (6/20/19), I was pleasantly surprised by four different jobs showing interest in me! As of right now, two are ready to hire me, one wants an interview, and another I had an interview and I’m waiting to hear back from. So, I am learning to be patient for God’s timing. Even in the waiting, I realize how stressed I can become if I let myself worry about all the what if’s.
This is where decision making comes in! I am in charge of myself as an adult, so no one else can be making these important decisions for me. There’s a part of me that wishes that I could take a peek through the future to see which job I should take, but there’s no such thing. I know that any of these jobs could be good for me to grow and learn. Well, I still don’t know at this point, but by next week I will be set up in a position. So, stay tuned!
Love, Peace, and Blessings to ya’ll
Signing out- Rose
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